Pray for myself.....

 

 
Back in April 2012 a bible study friend of mine asked me if I pray for myself the way I pray for others. I told her no. She was surprised.
It inspired me at that time to write this. I only sent it to her and I think I have a copy in my bedroom in one of my books that I read sometimes, I use it as a bookmark. I thought I would share it tonight.

What would I do if I had to pray for myself Lord?

Praying for others is so easy.
They tell me their requests.

I listen intently to their words.

As they speak, I ask You what I need to pray for.

I seek the Holy Spirit to help me in the prayer that I will pray for them.

The words…they just come.

It seems natural…to pray for others.

But to pray for myself that way?

It’s easy to pray for someone else when they are hurting.

If they are in physical pain, I just center in on that area and I ask You to heal that part of their body.

I ask You to send good doctors, nurses, medicine.

I ask You to give relief and ease their pain.

I ask You to give comfort and bless them with ease….

It seems natural to pray for others that way…

But to pray for myself that way?

Praying for others is easy.

I listen to their needs, their concerns, and I lift them up to You.

I can’t feel their pain really.
I can imagine what they are going through, but I really don’t know.

That is why it is easy to pray for them,

Because You know more than I do.

You feel and know their true pain, I do not.

My head is clear, the Holy Spirit is working in me on their behalf and it just …works!

But myself?

Myself is to real.

To personal.

I’m to close to me.

I FEEL my pain.

Whether it is physical, emotional or mental, my pain is real.

When I start to pray for myself, my head gets clouded. 

I start to think of the ‘whys’ of how I got here.

I start to think of the ‘whos’ to blame for my pain.

I remember the ‘situation’ in which I got emotional, and then…I can’t pray for myself.

I get frustrated.
Filled with to many words.

I want to say so much, and the words become like a giant puzzle, and then I just say, ‘oh forget it!’ …and leave it at that.

I mean I could ask that you lift that burden,

The one that keeps me up at night…the one that no matter how hard I try to turn off the thought, it just won’t go away…I could ask You to take it, and I could bring it and set it at the foot of your cross…

I could imagine that I’m setting it at Your feet, and then imagine that you carry it with you to the Father, and together, You and Him take care of it…

I could ask you to heal that relationship and make it whole again.

I could ask that you search my heart and open it up to Your ways.

To give me courage to face it…to face her..or him…

I could pour my heart out to You

& You and I could get down to the matter and figure out how to handle it…that would require me to submit…

It’s easier to ask for other people to submit to You than for me to do it for myself…

I mean really? Pray for myself the way I pray for others?

I could ask you to give me a new heart for You Lord, and in that new heart, take away the things that cloud my soul to see Your Glory.

I could ask that while you are sending help to my friend,

That if You don’t mind, send some for me too?

The Angels that roam the earth on behalf of all believers

Could you send one for me too Lord?

That worry for my child, You know the one Lord, the one that just hurts so bad I don’t want to even say it out loud for fear that the Devil will hear it…yeah, that one…I could ask that You, the Creator of all of us, The One who made my child just for me, that you protect him from that, and take care that it never happens…After all, You love my child more than I do…

Or that friend, the one that suffers from cancer, the one that we fear might be taken way before their time…I could ask you to please, just let her keep living with us till she is old and has a good long life…

Or the family member that doesn’t know You, the one that hurts so bad that they live in dark shadows most of their days…the one I can’t seem to understand for the life of me…I could pray that You lift that darkness, and shine Your light in their life…I could pray for a miracle for that person, for You to come and make an example out of that situation, and make it whole again…but I’m to angry sometimes to even ask…because that person’s darkness hurt me…and I’m still mad about it…

And that other prayer Lord, You know the one, the one that deals with the whole world, the one that sometimes scares me so bad that I can’t sleep at night wondering when…if it will ever happen…and if it does, will You come before that and rapture me up so I don’t have to be here for it? Is that selfish Lord?

Or what about my physical pain Lord? I feel bad asking You to assist me with that because there are so many other people in way more physical pain than I!

I can walk, and sit, and drive, and live…many cannot and therefore…it’s hard to pray for myself in that way…for I’m blessed with good medical care…it’s easier to ask for the person who lives in a hut with an incurable disease…

Pray for myself like I pray for others…? It’s a thought…

I guess praying for myself isn’t that much different than praying for others…

Since you made all of us, we are the same.

My prayer for my friend, is really no different than the ones I would pray for myself…just more personal…

Pray for myself, the way I pray for others…

Father, with You all things are possible…

With You, I can pray for my friends, my family, my world…

And myself…

In all these things Lord…I pray for myself, and everyone else…