365 days walking with Christ: Unhealthy Relationships and when to let go

A healthy relationship is a relationship in which there is balance in giving and taking . . . where there is mutual appreciation and a building up . . . where there are honest words of appreciation without any taint of manipulation.
Read more at http://www.beliefnet.com/Inspiration/Christian-Inspiration/2004/04/Walking-Away-From-Toxic-Relationships.aspx?p=2#TuBdLjrLLQfPV18S.99

A healthy relationship is one that gives and takes on both sides. (Romans 2:11)

A healthy relationship is about building one another up. (Ephesians 4:29)

A healthy relationship is where there are honest words, and not manipulation. (Matthew 4:21-25)

Broken relationships are probably one of the most heartbreaking things that happen to humans.

They make God sad, that is for sure. (1 Corinthians 13:1-13)

But not all relationships are good for all people.
I believe that all people try to do their best in all their relationships.

Sometimes, they just aren't healthy.

If a relationship is a liability to your health and well-being, and not an asset, its time to evaluate

and possibly give that person to God.

First, there will be constant strife and division. Amos 3:3 asks us, "Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?" A healthy relationship is one in which there is a oneness of goals, purpose, values, and beliefs. God's Word also says, "Where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there" (James 3:16).
Read more at http://www.beliefnet.com/Inspiration/Christian-Inspiration/2004/04/Walking-Away-From-Toxic-Relationships.aspx?p=1#SJcvor9ojtGGOSBJ.99

How do we evaluate if a relationship is not healthy?

First, there will be constant strife and division.

Amos 3:3 asks us, "Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?"

A healthy relationship is one in which there is a oneness of goals, purpose, values, and beliefs.

God's Word also says,

"Where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there" (James 3:16).

The Bible tells us that a double-minded man is "unstable in all his ways" (James 1:8).

The situation is out of order and therefore out of control. Only God is a God of order.

He has set up lines of authority, and when those lines are violated,

the door is then open to Satan to come in and take over.

You don't get to choose the brand of evil spirit you want.

When you get out of line with the way God has designed you and your life to work, the devil has a legal right to touch you with any form of evil he wants.

Strife and confusion in a relationship sap your energy and drain your creativity.

They take your focus off what God has for you.

One of the most dangerous relationships is the one that holds you to your past. (Matthew 13:53-58)

The relationships, situations, conditions, experiences of your past

can drag you down and hold you back.

They can keep you from fulfilling your potential in Christ.

All these things weight heavy on your heart and rob you of control over your life.

Don't give power to any person to manipulate you and control you.

Nobody deserves that power but God! Ephesians 1:11

If we lose our identity in Christ, or

Compromise who we are for another person, outside of Christ,

we are in a unhealthy relationship. (1 Peter 3:15)

We have to trust God to lead us to know which relationships are unhealthy.

If we aren't growing in Christ because of an unhealthy relationship

its time to break it off.

Any time another person holds us back from spending time with Christ,

we don't need that person in our life.

Sounds easy based on biblical truth.

But it is never easy to end a relationship,

especially if it is someone close to you like a family member or life long friend or spouse.

But when we are drained and we have tried and there is nothing more we can do

and you have given it your best shot,

And the relationship is now making you sick,

Physically, Mentally, Emotionally

When our soul is in immediate peril because of someones actions, words and presence in your life,

We have no other choice but to turn this person over to God

And then, turn ourselves over to Him as well.

By giving this person over to God, we allow God to do his work in this person, outside of us.

We can't change anyone, but God can! Hebrews 4:13

And by asking God to reveal in us our mistakes in the failed relationship,

we are now allowing God to bring change in ourselves.

2 Corinthians 3:18 says, “And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory,

which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.”

Transformation is a process.

When we trust God and take Him at His Word,

He will be free to transform our hearts and minds.

But it needs to be understood that this change does not happen all at once.

It is a process.

And not everyone will agree with it,

but stick to your beliefs!

Be healthy IN CHRIST

and surround yourself with like-minded people.

So as much as a failed relationship hurts,

the best thing to do is turn yourself over to Christ and the other person over to Christ.

Then, and only then, the change can start to take place.

And sometimes, yes, you need to walk away from this person.

You can't seek Christ when you are distracted with

pain, drama, turmoil, hurt, and past differences. .
You need to focus on Christ so you can grow in the Lord.

And if that person isn't part of your future, your life

Its ok

Christ doesn't want us in bad relationships

He wants us first and foremost in a loving relationship with Him!
So if someone is holding you back from that
Its time to let go.

“Make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; do not merely look out for you own personal interests, but also for the interests of others” (Philippians 2:2-4).

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Unhealthy Relationships and when to let go

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